aging sucks.

Ok. I am on the downhill side of the slide to the big 4-0. How did this happen? I am sure I was a teenager just last week. I have never been one to freak out about age. It's just a number, right? However, as that number has increased, so has the intensity of my..... what? Fear? Anxiety? Sadness? All of the above? I AM afraid. Afraid that my life is half over. Anxious about unresolved things. Issues out of my control or out of my grasp. Sad about things left undone, unexplored, unexperienced. I always thought that people who rattled about a mid-life crisis were whiners using their dwindling days on the planet to give one last try at being young or having material things they always wanted. I no longer think that's the case. This is real and this is scary. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up! Time seems to be speeding up and it is truly getting away from me. How do you make it stop? I wonder if everyone goes through this. I wonder how to resolve it. I wonder............